The Whole Point: Booking In

The reason I decided to write about my ‘Birth Plan‘ the other day was because of my experience while waiting for my booking in appointment the day before.

James and the girls came with me, as I wanted to be sure the girls would behave in the event that I acquire a car and start going to my appointments James-less. Plus, his presence meant he could answer the questions that I could not. Baby brain is my main mental state presently, after all.

I was quite nervous and hoped I would see a Midwife I knew and trusted, to put my mind at ease. Unfortunately, of the 7 or so Midwives there I saw only two I knew. The first, has been one of my primary carers for both births and I can’t say she and I have ever had a rapport. She’s a little snappy and blunt and I simply never felt comfortable with her, while in my vulnerable state. The second was around when I had Kahlei, but is one of those quiet people who go about their duties and you never have much interaction with.

When the first came out of the nursery, she looked at us and said “What? Another one?” as she walked away from us she followed that up with “I probably shouldn’t say it like that.” Probably not. I was feeling quite self conscious as all the Midwives I didn’t know looked curiously at us.

The second was about to leave and stood awkwardly asking if we were booking in again.

I had already decided that I wanted to have Phoenix in our new town, but this reception really cemented that decision in my mind. It brought up memories of my time in hospital, especially of my first stay after having Ellie, where I spent a lot of time feeling alone, sometimes scared and often unsure.

I remember, one night, just after James left Ellie started screaming. She had tummy pains, I rang the buzzer because, seriously, what was I meant to do? I got up, as slowly as a person possibly can and in so much pain. I did what I could to help her but it wasn’t helping. No one responded to my buzzer. Eventually, after much crying on both our parts, Ellie did her first (and most disgusting) poo. Even then no one came.

The girl in the room next to me had also had a c-section, just after me, and she was struggling with her baby no sleeping as well as her recovery. I am ashamed to admit that at times I was frustrated with her, simply because every time I needed someone to help me they seemed to be in her room. I didn’t call for help often, but when I did I felt neglected and embarrassed. I still feel guilty about how I felt towards that poor woman in the next room.

With Kahlei, I have no idea about my stay, really. My memory of that time is somewhat blurry. The one thing I can remember clearly is the frustration I felt when I kept falling asleep halfway through a sentence…

Sitting there, waiting to book in and hearing our reception really brought it all back and I hate the idea of having another baby there. Not that I think another hospital will have perfect midwives who all like me… Still…

2 Comments

  1. Come and book in here – we're not far from the hospital…

    I'll come an visit you every day and bring the girls to see you…

    Pleeeeeeaaaaaasssssseeeeee

  2. I think you should print this post out and mail it to your practice and the hospital. Care like that is not right. Call bells should be answered.

    I pray your next experience is nothing like the last.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *