{52 Weeks} Week 17: Pregnant

Of course, I am sure you all realise by now that I am pregnant, so the title of today’s post might be a little pointless 😉 but, as my last pregnancy enters it’s last week I am still amazed at the things that still take me by surprise and thought I might share some of my thoughts and musings (okay, ramblings) about pregnancy for this; my last belly shots for my {52 Week} Project.
The idea for this post came to me the other day as I went to the shop on my own and noticed myself in the reflection of the window. I know it’s general knowledge that heavily pregnant women waddle, but I don’t feel like I have been. When I go out with the girls and hold their hands, I feel there might be a tiny sway but no waddle, so imagine my surprise when I saw myself walking across the road in full waddle. Like extreme waddle. Like each step made my whole belly point in the opposite direction than it had been. 
I know I have a huge bump, I can feel the discomfort all the time and yet I often manage to walk into doors, walls, furniture… I have no idea how it happens.
I can’t fathom how this little man can be comfortable tucking his feet up under my ribs, sticking his butt out and jamming his head into my bits. I know it’s nothing short of painful for me, but for some reason this is his favourite position.
And why has my husband had all the weird cravings through out all three pregnancies? I don’t think I am complaining, although I will never have a great strange craving story to tell in years to come.
During all three pregnancies I have wondered wondered about these women who love being pregnant. Who glow and feel amazing. Are they real? Or do we feel like we should feel like that since we’re growing something so amazing? I have never felt great, never had a glow, never ever loved it. I remember feeling bad going through my pregnancy with Ellie, wondering why I wasn’t a glower but I have since come to accept I just have crummy reactions to pregnancy!
Another thing I am currently wondering about is how is it that something so small and so light when you finally hold them in your arms feels a whole lot like carrying an elephant? I can’t believe the pain this little thing has had me in. Women who suffer through SPD and then decide they can put their body through that again for another bundle of joy are amazing. This pregnancy has done me in. I simply can’t imagine going back.
And do we get our brains back? I don’t feel like I have. But, this time around my baby brain is sooo different to what I had with the girls. With them my head was constantly fuzzy, like I was walking around with a cloud stuffed in my head. I knew there were things I couldn’t remember, I knew that I should know what a certain word was but simply couldn’t get my thoughts going. This time around it’s kind of just nothing. I don’t realise I am forgetting or that I should know something or other or that I should be thinking.  There’s just no energy left for such things.
Mostly, I am amazed that my body can grow these perfect little people. Amazing that all this pain, discomfort and weird body stuff is worth it a thousand fold because at the end there is something so beautiful and precious and you forget and go through it all again (well, until you stop, hehe).

And that, dear friends is my pregnant brain-spew. If it makes no sense refer to the part about baby brain…

 

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4 Comments

  1. great post – I agree with all of it. For my 3 pregnancies I gained 26, 27, 28kg repectively…all waddle and no glow (trust me)!! Have you managed to get husband to bake you any pumpkin goodies yet? Gave a great (and relaxing – feet up!!) weekend xxx

  2. We waddle with pride beacause there is nothing more beautiful than creating perfect little humans. Yes, it is very amazing to see how small they are when inside they are taking up every inch of space. After Jackson (he was over 9lbs at birth) my back will never be the same. Enjoy the home stretch and be well.

  3. oh man, I could have written this post, especially the part about those mysterious women who love being pregnant. Who are they? Are they just here to make me feel bad? I hated being pregnant. I am grateful to be part of the miracle of life, I am grateful for my son, but I really, really do not enjoy being pregnant and I feel like a bit of a freak for that.

  4. oh and I meant to say, I hope this last bit goes by as fast as possible and you have a smooth labor and delivery!

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