Sometimes

* This was written not long after my return from Melbourne. While away I heard a whole lot about how good my children were but on my return, mere moments after I walked through the door in fact, the girls returned to their screeching, tantruming, non- sleeping ]selves *

Sometimes I wish I could go back and start again; get help from the very start and make different choices along the way.
Sometimes I wish I could go back and NOT start again; become a better, more rounded person first.
Sometimes I wonder where I have gone wrong; why are things the way they are?
Sometimes I think that if I weren’t so selfish things would be better; if I wasn’t so desperate to be the person at home, raising my children and instead went to work maybe they would have a better life.
Sometimes I wonder why we bothered; wasn’t it meant to be better?
Sometimes I feel so completely unsure of what I am doing, where I’m going and what the next step should be that it’s overwhelming.

FYBF

Photobucket

9 Comments

  1. Sometimes you have to look at yourself through someone elses eyes. This way you will see just how good a job you are doing. Sometimes you have to acknowledge that you did the best with what you could, at the time. Sometimes, you need to be told, you're doing WAY better than you think….and you're story has only just begun…the rest is still unwritten and you hold the pen xxxx enJOY writing the next chapter, the best is yet to come!

  2. I could have written this post. Well, maybe not so well, but carrying the same meaning.

    There was a time when I was trying to discover if everyone had something they regretted in their lives or if it was just me. I talked to my husband at the time and believe it or not, he didn't have anything major that he would change about how he had lived his life. I have quite a few things I regret, but I realise now how I have changed through them and how I needed them to grow. I wish I could become that better, more rounded person first, but that's how we become better, more rounded people in real life.

    Sorry for the essay, maybe I should take it to my own blog…

  3. Becky, just wanted to tell you that you're such a lovely person. Being a mum to little ones is hard and you do often feel lost (well I did) and so sleep deprived that you can't see straight. It seems to ebb up and down and it's hard to sort your feelings out. But, it does get easier 🙂 Just keep swimming (in the words of Dory)coz you're doing a fabulous job. Cazxx

  4. Aww hun I hear you! That post could have been written about me too.
    Hugs to you and your family xoxo

    Moodi Mumma

  5. Oh Becky, I wish you didn't second guess yourself (but it's something we usually all do at some point… or 10 or 20 points!)

    From where I see it, the staying at home part – if it's what you truly wanted to do – should be embraced if you possibly can. It is a tremendous feat, one that I have found exceedingly difficult. Brought me to my knees several times. And I only have the one at home! If you need balance and you feel you're not getting it… get it. Make it happen. If you *want* to work, perhaps it wouldn't be a bad idea to start putting the wish out there?

    I wish even more now that we had had a chance to chat more recently when you were in Melb. Sorry it was such a fleeting pass-by "Hi! It's you!" xoxo

  6. sometimes you need to know you are an amzing mom– we all question the choices we make/made.

    Sometimes we need to look back and see the smiles and know we are doing our very best– those little smiles don't lie… I see the happiness in your children's beautiful faces… you are doing a much better job than you think.

  7. Becky I want you to know that your light is seen, your heart is known, your soul is cherished by more people than you might imagine. If you knew how many others have been touched in wonderful ways by you, you would be astonished. If you knew how many people feel so much for you, you would be shocked. You are far more wonderful than you think you are. Rest with that. Rest easy with that. Breathe again. You are doing fine. More than fine. Better than fine. You're doin' great. So relax. And love yourself today. Then take in God's love. Right now, take it in. You deserve it 🙂

  8. I often wish that I could go back to relive 1 day here and there from times in my life so that I can relish what I did not truly appreciate at the time.

  9. Hindsight is 20/20… we do the best we can at the time with the resources we have. If you've learned anything at all from this journey (and I know you've learned a heap) then you've grown as a person. You're awesome x

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *