Miranda Bashing

Miranda-Kerr-Swimsuit-Pictures-David-Jones-Runway-Show, Miranda Kerr post baby, Miranda Kerr Swimsuit

Did you hear Miranda Kerr had a baby 7 months ago? Oh you did?

It seems we’re sick of hearing about the Aussie beauty’s natural birth, breast feeding and now, her uber amazing body as she returns to the runway and while I recently sent James a message saying something along the lines of “Miranda Kerr is annoyingly perfect”, I think we are being quite harsh in our flippant remarks and snap judgements.

Earlier this year, when Jackie O was ridiculed for bottle feeding her daughter, Kitty, while crossing the road I was relieved to find the mothers I spend time with, look up to and converse with fiercely defending the new mum and rejecting judgement and rally around her. After all, as mother’s we know we do what we’ve gotta do.

Last Wednesday saw Miranda return to the catwalk for the David Jones Spring/Summer 2011 Fashion Launch and wowed the crowd with her post pregnancy body. Especially in that revealing swimsuit. Since then I have happened upon quite a few nasty posts, and many nasty thoughts and comments about Miranda. And it has all left me feeling quite sad.

I am all for quashing the super-mum ideal and avoiding the unrealistic post pregnancy life famous women portray. However, as I recently commented on Louisa’s blog; I am also all for being supported, informed and empowered as a mother and a woman. Not torn down.

And I honestly do not believe those who are saying she is smug and a bad role model. She is modeling love for her son, what could be better?

Yes, we have heard a whole lot about Miranda’s drug free birthing and how she thought she was going to die, but do you know why that is? Because the media replays it, rehashes it, asks the same questions of her in interviews. It’s not as if she is constantly standing in front of us carrying on and on about these things.

I have birthed three babies via c-section. Does that make others better than me? No. Does that mean I don’t think she should be proud of her drug free birth? No. She’s a freaking rock star and why shouldn’t she be proud? No matter how we birth a baby we should be proud.

As my husband has the ever stunning Ms Kerr on his flirt list, maybe I should be joining in the chorus of nay-sayers and maybe once I would have; having experienced my own body image issues and eating disorders. I have been plagued with my own issues which may never really go away, but why should I impose my own self doubt onto another? Why should I cut someone else down because I have hang ups?

Yes, she is completely stunning for 7 months post birth, but maybe if I had been that fit before my pregnancy and worked out during and then lost the weight after I would be too. I know women who can look like they’ve not had a baby mere months after, I wish I was one of them though I am not, but I don’t spit vile about them because they manage something I never will and I am pretty sure most of us wouldn’t do that. For some reason we feel celebrities are fair game because they are in the public eye due to their profession.

I actually think she looks even more amazing now than pre-baby. Boobieliciousness is in (just ask me).

Honestly, what good does tearing other mothers down do? I yearn for solidarity, a united front. We need to support each other, build one another up and be a community of mothers for all mothers.

I realise this post may make me quite unpopular and considered not writing it to avoid confrontation, but it has been on my heart for days now and I am avoiding my own truth by avoiding the issue.

James would like me to wrap this up by stating “She is pretty. The end.”

What do you think? Is Miranda fair game or do we need to rally around as mothers and stand up?

FYBF

28 Comments

  1. Well said, well written Becky. I completely agree with you.

    • Thank you x

      I was so nervous to press publish, so your comment coming in so quick made me feel better!

  2. Whilst not a mother I completely agree with you. Reading your blog I have found myself becoming less and less judgemental of the mothers I see around me in the street, on public transport, etc.

    Each Mother is different, each Mother does the best that they can with what they’ve got at the time, each Mother does what she has to do for her family.

    I find myself complimenting Mothers I don’t know, giving sympathetic looks or encouraging smiles rather than rolling my eyes or turning away, and I attribute that solely to reading your blog (without which I would have no insight into or empathy for the plight of our Mums).

    Miranda might be stunningly gorgeous, and you know what? I haven’t even had kids and I’m never going to look like her! I like the fact that she’s an advocate for public breast feeding. I admire the fact that she was able to have a drug free birth, but listening to her interviews I don’t believe that she is the type of person that would ever tell someone that the way she did things was better than anyone else.

    Its unfortunate that some Mothers are so competitive. Its unfortunate that some feel the need to put others down in order to feel better about themselves. I happen to think that if more Mothers were as open and honest as you and your bloggy community are, the world would be a much, much brighter place.

    Love your blog, and love you!! =)

    PS James – totally with you, she’s on my flirt list too!

    xxx

    • I am SO glad you’re getting something out of reading here; other than catching up with what we’re doing because I suck at keeping in touch (sorry!).

      I am nodding my head with each of your points. I know it’s easy to get into a whole jealousy thing but it’s much better for all concerned to just be supportive.

      Can’t wait for you and Danny to have a bub. How good will that be πŸ˜‰

      Love YOU!

  3. Well said! I think she looks amazing but its unrealistic for people to compare themselves, she was genetically blessed to begin with. Have people forgotten how tiny she was before she had a baby? I dont agree with the constant stories about her natural birth though as i think it adds to womens pressure to birth the ‘right’ way.

    • Exactly. She didn’t even put on much weight during her pregnancy, so I don’t know why it’s such a surprise that she is now looking great?

      I completely get what you’re saying about the stories of her birth putting pressure on other mothers. At the same time I think we should all work towards accepting birth however it happens, although I do know it’s not as easy as that.

  4. I agree. I envy her magnificent body (and magnificent husband :D) but I would never take away from what was clearly HARD work to regain that body. I admire and envy, I would not dream of pulling her down for it.

    • I would love her body! I applaud her strong will and the work she must have done.

      I like that; “I admire and envy, I would not dream of pulling her down for it.” Perfectly said.

  5. I dare say it’s not more bashing than the poor thing was used to before becoming a mother. She had that teenage self-esteem book out, remember? There was lots of bashing about that. It seems that you just get torn down ‘cos you look better than everyone else, whatever you do!

    Why does it surprise us all that the genetically-blessed are still genetically-blessed after giving birth? She looks fabulous post-baby because she was fabulous pre-baby and if she wasn’t then she would be hid in a closet somewhere until she was…

    It comes with the territory of being a celeb, I think. If you don’t want the criticism, you don’t actually have to talk about yourself, no? x

    • True – she would be used to being ridiculed in her line of work, I suppose I didn’t think about that. I went on the ‘fiercely defensive mother’ side pretty quick as I am tired of seeing mothers torn down.

      I actually hadn’t heard of her book before I started writing this post and even then I only saw a youtube video she did for it; I wasn’t aware she got some bashing over that.

      I have no idea why we’re surprised when people like this bounce back so well! One of life’s mysteries!

  6. Ugh! What a BRILLIANT post!

    Jealousy is a curse, and whilst I am ridiculously jealous of her post baby bod, I certainly don’t have any reason to hate her for it.

    For me, breastfeeding was just one failure after another. And just as I was reluctantly heading into the land of formula feeding my bub, Miranda released that amazing photo of her breastfeeding in a robe. And I just felt sick with jealousy. Again, not her fault! Just poor timing with my mummy related guilt πŸ™‚

    Some fantastic points you’ve discussed.

    Cherie (http://ababycalledmax.blogspot.com)

    P.S your hubby summed it up perfectly.

    • I appreciate your honesty in your comment. It is hard to see others seemingly ‘breezing’ through issues you’re experiencing.

      I wrote this as much for ‘us’ as anything because measuring ourselves against others never makes us feel good. I hope to find a way to empower women and myself to stand up and be proud of the mother they are.

      And my husband thinks you’re so right that he summed it up perfectly πŸ˜‰ hehe.

  7. I think she is beautiful in every way πŸ™‚ She was very lucky to have everything run so smoothly for her and in no way is it her ‘fault’. I think it is lovely that she has talked on these topics as funnily enough even for those of us who are able to have a drug free/natural type birth or breastfeed succesfully, etc – we feel pressures in other ways. Ie feeding for too long, feeding in public, people saying we are stupid for not having drugs – wondering why you would put yourself through that. It seems no matter what choices you make or paths you follow/are forced upon, you are judged as a mother – everyone wants to put in their two cents worth and tell you “dont worry about what everyone says” and silenty follow that up with “but listen to me because im right and i know everything” as they continue to give you ‘advice’.

    I too think you have summed it up perfectly, Becky. Each to their own. Everyone has their own very different and personal circumstances. Mothers do what they have to and for every mother, baby and family it is different. We should all support each other in whatever choices are made so long as the child AND mothers health and safety needs are being met. We should all be supporting each other not judging – No one is perfect – yet we are all perfect!

    I did really like the photo of her breastfeeding, my hubby actually told me about it when he saw it as he knew it would cheer me up and help me continue on my path to breastfeed to 1 year at least (for which i have many personal reasons relating to my first child making this such an important goal). ( And i did it! Hooray! ) It was really nice for me to see her doing it so proudly when I myself feel the pressures and judgemental eyes upon me – particularly from members of my family who seem to suggest its time to wean at any hint of an opportunity. I have felt this shock and judgement from about 8 months – She’s now 12 months.

    I’ve had my rant now πŸ™‚ Night to all the mummy’s out there – no matter your personal choices – you have my non-judgemental respect Xx

    • You’re so right. There seems to be a stigma that if you’ve birthed drug free you’re not feeling the pressures and judgements that come with motherhood, but of course you are!

      Yay you for making your breastfeeding goal! I am aiming for at least 12 months with Jasper, although with his new love of biting we’ll see how that goes πŸ˜‰

      I just love your comment, thank you so for sharing, Beck x

      • Thanks Becky πŸ™‚

        Oh and Maddy has gone through a few biting stages. But it gets easier – she’s on two feeds now which is great. When maddy bit i would say ‘no biting’ take her off and put her on the floor. No feeds for at least 5 mins. She learnt quickly. She’s such a booby girl. lol I would also watch for that ‘look’ in her eye and stick my finger in her mouth before she could chomp. Hope maybe something there helps you, and im always here for a chat if you need some encouragement or just a listening ear Xx

        PS my last bout of mastitis was because she bit me! HARD! Drew blood instantly! lol little rascal!

  8. Love your post, well said, agree! Especially about the bit “I don’t spit vile about them because they manage something I never will”. Miranda also advocates for what she believes in. She believes in breastfeeding, working mums, healthy lifestyles etc and I heard an interview where she said she made Orlando pee in a bottle at the birth as she didn’t want him to leave her side. Nearly all mothers I know advocate for what they believe in, I too have seen mothers get into shape quickly because it was and still is their lifestyle. And she is a model people, no need to get upset with her because she has got back into her career…
    Poor celebrities… agree with you also about the media. They ask questions, celeb answers, the media edits. And if she had some problems with hemroids or something for example well I would keep that private too! lol …

    • Absolutely, we all advocate for what we believe in, what a great way to put it. And why wouldn’t we? We’re all passionate about our children, about being mothers and about doing things the best way FOR US. And we’re passionate about sharing our stories.

      I like to think we’re passionate about informing other mothers and are confident enough in our own direction to accept they have a different experience, different needs and will choose what works for them and their family.

      Also, I know I don’t want to hear about whether Miranda has hemorrhoids or not πŸ˜‰ I think the media are onto me!

  9. I think this is wonderfully well-written. I am sick of hearing people be negative toward another mother. Before I went back to work, I had to re-read textbooks, refamiliarise myself with my role and get my head into the space in which I needed to go back to. To go back to work, this girl had to get her body back into the space it needed to be. That’s a rare job, so obviously we’re not all going to look like that. We all do what we’ve gotta do.

    • So true. You can’t return to work unprepared. Her body’s her job, what else could she do? Slob around to avoid ridicule or judgement? I think not.

      On a side note. I totally sat at your table for the DP lunch at Blogopolis and you were divine. I was too nervous to actually talk to you, though!

  10. I could not agree more. I will just stand and applaud in lieu of comment.

    • I think I deserve a bow, yes? πŸ˜‰

  11. She looked great before baby and now after baby. What’s the big deal?!?!?! What mother doesn’t take photos of herself with her baby?!?!? I have a friend, she was stick-thin before her babies and now she’s had THREE babies and she’s still as skinny as she was before she had them. She didn’t have to work for it, her body just snapped back. Some people do, some people don’t.

    I read a quote this morning – How other people treat you is THEIR karma. How you treat other people is yours. Some of these people need to take a hard look at themselves.

    Loved your post Becky xx

    P.S. It’s taken me FOUR YEARS to lose all my fat from my last baby and I had to work my butt off – LITERALLY! Such is life though.

  12. Just like it was unrealistic for me to even be a model – short & not naturally skinny – it would have been unrealistic for me to expect to look like a swim suit model after one or 4 babies!! Add to that, it’s not my profession!! I know mere mortals mums at school & in my family who have amazing figures & did modelling before & after babies, they don’t have staff, but it’s their income so like someone furthering their studies, models have to work on their bodies, to maintain their place in the work force. It’s her business to look that good & if you’ve seen those childhood images of her growing up in Gunnedah, she has always been naturally lithe, sparkly & uber healthy, no wonder the girl glows!! Finally, while i’m no super model, i walked out of hospital in size 10 jeans after each of my babies, including twins, as i just lost ALL the weight (some 25kg each time) within the first few days after i popped them out. I happily say i had epidurals, straight up, i had them put in each time before i even started labour, as i have issues with my eyes, i’m a pharmacologist, i’m pro drugs & i tell you, i had the easiest deliveries & instant energy once they were out, especially the twins. Love Posie

  13. Well done! As much as I am jealous of how easy she has made it all look, I do feel sorry for her with the continued barbs fired her way. What happened to mothers having each other’s backs?

    And if I looked like that I’d flaunt it too πŸ™‚ The end πŸ™‚

  14. I don’t think any new mother should be fair game. We all have our own experiences and our own stories and unless we swap lives, none of us can judge each other. Media has a lot to answer for in flaunting unrealistic images and stories of post-pregnancy recovery and some celebrities are complicit in this, but I don’t sense Miranda as one of those.
    I think she’s a great example in fact of a working mum (albeit in a glamorous lifestyle) and a good ambassador for Australia.

  15. Becky, great post. I think any celebrity is going to be criticised in some way, it seems to be the way of the world, unfortunately. Heaps easier to tear them down than defend them…visiting from FYBF.

  16. Even her own husband said it on Oprah, “It’s in her genes…”
    I actually didn’t care too much when the media hyped her and her birth up. It’s what they usually typically do, anyway.
    What rubbed me the wrong way was her own blatant self-promo with her b/feeding photo and with the caption “Another day at the office…”
    I was like, “Miranda…you don’t know the first thing about a day in the office…”
    Okay, off my soapbox.
    Glad I popped by over from FYBF πŸ™‚

  17. Hi Becky

    What I love about what you’ve written –

    Is that you so selflessly and humbly, opened up and spoke up about supporting each other. You know what, it’s not even a Miranda issue. It’s totally beyond that.

    I love that you felt the fear of publishing this, and hit the Publish button anyway. I feel aligned to you about this, because lately I’ve been pushing myself more and more, to hit Publish even when I have this whole internal dialogue before – and afterwards – about all the reasons why I shouldn’t.

    I hope you are kind and generous to yourself as you are to others.

    Growing through your writing, speaking fearlessly from the heart and having the self-awareness to look at your own insecurities and support others nonetheless – are all but a few reasons why you deserve kindness in return. Not just from us, your children, your family and others, but kindness from yourself.

    Thank you, for reminding me to be kind to myself too.

    Lina

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