Things I Wish I Had Known: Routines

This is the fourth post in my Things I Wish I Had Known Series, where I am sharing some of the things that I have learned on my parenting journey which would have been helpful to know before giving birth to Ellie.

 I wish I had known that routine would come naturally and be child led.

When we first took each of my newborns out shopping the normal questions would be heaped on us; Is she a good baby? Does she sleep well? Are you feeding him? And the most feared of all; Do you have a routine?

I find all of the above questions to be mundane. There is no thought given to what you’re actually asking – what does it even mean to have a ‘good’ baby? But, they’re all questions which had me panicking as a new mother.

Especially that last one.

When I replied that we didn’t have a routine, I was constantly told that routine was good for babies and that I probably needed to get one happening. This helpful advice coupled with all the books telling me that I should have a routine terrified me.

I tried a few ways of implementing; I followed some strict routine based programs but none of them worked. More importantly, none of them felt right.

As a mother struggling, sleep deprived and with undiagnosed PND, I found my inability to do this, which obviously desperately needed to be done, riddled me with anxiety and made me question my abilities to parent.

Eventually, I decided to stop watching the clock and give up the books. I was exhausted and getting nowhere. I allowed life to flow and followed Ellie’s prompts and one day I realised we had our routine. It wasn’t set in stone, it was flexible and it was perfect.

Each child has added different elements and needs to our lives and our daily routines have gently molded to accommodate everyone. Obviously, there have been and will be hick ups from time to time but because it’s not a strict, time based form of management there is leeway, flexibility and I know that tomorrow is a new day.

Which, of course, doesn’t mean I don’t get stressed out!

Interested in what else I wish I had known?

Part One: Parenting Books

Part Two: Parenting Philosophies

Part Three: Highchairs
Part Four: Routines

One Comment

  1. Perfectly Said! I still get raised eyebrows when i say my kids dont have a routine. It doesnt mean they run wild (well…. they do but thats beside the point, lol) We have a regular flow that is led by them. Works best for us too <3

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