Weight Loss Fears
I am the queen of irrational fears. From cows to emus and so many things in between. Mostly, I know they’re stupid and laugh them off, while taking the long way around if I might encounter anything untoward. Except with cows. They actually are evil.
Now, as I am trying to find a fitter, healthier me I have found my mind full of fears. It never occurred to me that there would be a stage of worrying about what happens once the weight comes off. Never did I think I would be questioning whether to actually go through with my fitness plan due to irrational thoughts which plague me.
It all began when I read a status (good ole FaceBook) of a wonderfully inspiring woman who has lost almost 100kgs who was lamenting the price of the surgery she needed to remove her excess skin. All of a sudden, I was confronted with the possibility of losing weight only to still have ‘extras’. What would I do then? I certainly could never afford to have the required surgery. These worries only led to more.
What if I lose all the weight only to look in the mirror and still hate what I see? What if my husband is imagining a perfect figure at the end of the process and is disappointed with the ‘after’ me. What if he doesn’t like the changes. What if he likes the changes too much and I am left feeling less loved for who I am as apposed what I am.
So many what ifs.
It’s silly, I know. But, the questions are there. I guess it’s just another stage to work through. I have to admit that not having heard about others experiencing this kind of doubt makes me nervous; we hear so much about the weight loss journey – online, blogs, magazines, TV – it’s everywhere and yet I don’t feel like I’ve ever seen this addressed. Which makes me wonder if it’s just me.
Have you experienced anything like this?