Boys Wear Pink, Too
On Thursday, Jasper and I went to the Post Office to post some letters. He was decked out, as all good Rock Stars are, in Ellie’s pink sunglasses which he simply adores to wear. We were waiting in line and Jasper soon had the lady in front of us chatting to him, he’s a ladies’ man, my boy. After some cooing, she lifted her eyes to me and, in hushed tones said to me “Your son is wearing pink glasses.” She waited patiently for the penny to drop and for me to exclaim something about my mistake in letting my precious boy child adorn the wrong coloured sunglasses. Instead, I politely said “Yes, he is.” She regarded me for a moment longer before turning back to the front of the line.
I looked at my happy little man, with his pink shades and thought about he’d been wearing a necklace and carrying a pink handbag earlier in the morning and gave the lady a look for good measure. Maybe she thought she was ‘doing the right thing’, however, I don’t see why there was a reason for her to bring it up at all.
You see, my boy likes pink. He likes pretty things. He likes to dress up and he loves to wear bling. I strongly disagree with the expectation society has that girls wear pink and boys wear blue. Or that, if a boy does indeed wear pink he will turn out to be girly, wimpy and (gasp) gay. James is often nervous about my allowing Jasper to wear these things and I have already had address “boy colours” vs “girl colours” comments made by Ellie since she started Day Care. It’s frustrating. I don’t want Jasper to change simply because he’s expected to fit inside a certain box.
I absolutely believe that he is who he is. Wearing pink, carrying around a bag and wearing bracelets won’t make him something he is not. If he is gay, then he’s gay. If I impose the world’s view on him and forbid him from wearing what he likes because “it’s for girls”, I am doing nothing more than squashing his true self and buying into a view which is false and stifling. Just as having my boy wear blue and only blue will have no influence on his sexuality.
And, anyway, who cares? So what if he’s gay?
What I want for my children is for them to be accepted for who they are, for others to respect their choices and for them to do the same. How can we teach them this when the first thing we do is colour co-ordinate them into neat little packages and discourage them from expressing themselves if their expression happens to be outside the guidelines of what is put forward for their gender?
In the end, all that matters is that pink sunglasses are happy making. Even when worn upside down.