Bullying. Dobbing. What would you do?
Kahlei has been out of Day Care for two weeks now, it’s exhausting to not have that little break from her, but at the same time I know this is what she needs. We’ve been spending some good quality time together and I am trying to do what I can to build her back up.
This week, Ellie came home from Day Care somewhat upset, having been told by the same boy that he doesn’t want to play with her and that he doesn’t like her or Kahlei. Even though the week before, he said he wanted to marry her when they were older. And then he follows her around all day.
Last night, she told me that she’s a ‘dobber’, which shocked me somewhat. I try not to use that word and asked her where she got that idea only to be told this same little boy calls her a ‘dibber dobber’ and that it upsets her.
I have to admit, that James and I have been encouraging her to tell the carer when he says things or pushes/hurts them. Given that the response she gave me when I brought up the issues Kahlei was having was “Oh, I never hear him say that.” and now Ellie’s paying.
We’re at a stage where I simply have no idea what to do. I know there’s a stigma around ‘dobbing’ but I thought it important that our carer become aware of what was happening. I know she tells him that what he’s doing or saying isn’t nice and moves away from him, as we’ve suggested.
I know she’s more confident and socially aware than Kahlei and able to look after herself in a way that her sister is yet to master, but I also know that she is a little girl. Words hurt. Being left out hurts. And now her sister isn’t there for her to go and be with.
I’m heartbroken about all of this. And the prospect of school for Ellie next year is giving me some anxiety. More anxiety. I’ve been feeling pretty good as a parent lately, but suddenly I feel I am floundering and failing. My poor babies.
Are we to continue encouraging Ellie to tell the carer what’s happening? Do we talk about dobbing, what you should tell and what you shouldn’t? Do I even know the answer to that myself? What can I do to build them up after this? What can I do to build them up to a point where they know their worth in a way that these things barely register? Is that even possible?
So many questions. What would you do?
Linking up with Jess from Diary of a SAHM for IBot