Going Solo

Contrary to the belief of my children I do not wear heals for all my motherly duties. Or any.

Mere hours into my first solo stint Ellie had already declared “Mum, you need dad. We need dad!” and Kahlei had decided she didn’t want to eat tea without daddy. We were in the car, traveling ‘home’ after leaving James to begin his new old job and I had hoped that my taking the babes to the beach and playground before hitting the road would lead to a blissful, sleep filled five hours.

It didn’t.

Obviously. Because that would be too easy.

Our first night and Ellie was already sleeping with me. Kahlei was lamenting that she didn’t want to ‘lost’ her daddy. I was feeling weird and lonely.

Our first full day has seen Jazzy bursting into random tears and each of the girls going from one extreme to the other. Helpful, spiteful, playing happily, screaming and hitting each other. It’s been exhausting.

I am missing my man. I can’t snuggle up while these horrible winds carry on. I can’t glance over to his iPad and know he’s about to buy that tool box, instead of having to be told in a message he’s just bought himself a birthday present. I have no one to talk to who won’t stamp their foot at me. Well, he might have anyway, but the possibility of him not doing so is there.

Thankfully, James will be home tonight. But, next week we do it all again and I don’t love it. I don’t want to do it. Not the parenting solo in particular but the being without my best friend bit. And also the parenting bit.

Those of you who do this solo gig often, you have always had my admiration but now I have a new appreciation. If you have any tips to get me through, feel free to impart them!

Linking up with Kate Says Stuff for Thankful Thursday today because I am Thankful that I only have to do this for a month. I am Thankful for the amazing solo Mummas out there who do such an amazing job raising their babies and I am oh-so-Thankful that James will be home tonight.


  1. I really hope this month goes quickly for you 🙁 It’s so hard when you have to do it alone even if it’s just every now and then. I wish I had some words of advice but the only thing I can think of is that by the end of the month, you’ll be a pro at it AND you’ll have your Hubby home x

  2. Dave went away for a weekend for work back in March and that was enough to have me staying at my Mum’s one of those nights. I really don’t know how solo mama’s do it and my hat goes off to them in a massive way!
    P.S I love that picture, it’s so darn cute!

  3. I rarely have to solo parent but when I do, you’re right, I miss having him there more so than missing the help with the kids. I only have very short stints though. I take my hat off to single mums, that must be tough. Hope the month passes quickly for you x

  4. After years of the solo gig, I’m eternally glad I’m not doing it now. Lots of love, hugs, strength and clarity to you all. x

  5. There’s no doubt that solo parenting is a tough gig even if its only for short stints. I’d be a blithering mess if I didn’t have Dadabulous to help out with the evening routine. (Well I’m a bit of a blithering mess but Dadabulous prevents me from becoming the full blithering mess).
    Wishing you all the best of luck

  6. I know your pain Becky – I did it for 10 short days back in June and it felt like a lifetime. I know you pull through because you have to, and my fullest admiration goes out to solo parents. Hope the time passes quickly for you and you love your new new ‘old’ life back on the coast xx


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