Contrary to the belief of my children I do not wear heals for all my motherly duties. Or any.
Mere hours into my first solo stint Ellie had already declared “Mum, you need dad. We need dad!” and Kahlei had decided she didn’t want to eat tea without daddy. We were in the car, traveling ‘home’ after leaving James to begin his new old job and I had hoped that my taking the babes to the beach and playground before hitting the road would lead to a blissful, sleep filled five hours.
Obviously. Because that would be too easy.
Our first night and Ellie was already sleeping with me. Kahlei was lamenting that she didn’t want to ‘lost’ her daddy. I was feeling weird and lonely.
Our first full day has seen Jazzy bursting into random tears and each of the girls going from one extreme to the other. Helpful, spiteful, playing happily, screaming and hitting each other. It’s been exhausting.
I am missing my man. I can’t snuggle up while these horrible winds carry on. I can’t glance over to his iPad and know he’s about to buy that tool box, instead of having to be told in a message he’s just bought himself a birthday present. I have no one to talk to who won’t stamp their foot at me. Well, he might have anyway, but the possibility of him not doing so is there.
Thankfully, James will be home tonight. But, next week we do it all again and I don’t love it. I don’t want to do it. Not the parenting solo in particular but the being without my best friend bit. And also the parenting bit.
Those of you who do this solo gig often, you have always had my admiration but now I have a new appreciation. If you have any tips to get me through, feel free to impart them!
Linking up with Kate Says Stuff for Thankful Thursday today because I am Thankful that I only have to do this for a month. I am Thankful for the amazing solo Mummas out there who do such an amazing job raising their babies and I am oh-so-Thankful that James will be home tonight.