Grandma Adoption and Ranty Pants
Recently, Jazz adopted a Grandma while we were out at an indoor play center. She was in playing with the kids and her grandson for awhile and then, when she came to sit down, Jasper followed. The two of them chatted and it was like they’d known each other forever. It was utterly adorable, heartwarming and a little saddening, too.
You see, my children do have a grandma, but they’ve not seen her for over a year now. They’re not lacking for grandmotherly love, of course, they are adored and cherished by a Nanna, two great Nanna’s, and a Nanna Jo. They are enveloped in grandmotherly love.
Yet, I feel the loss of this relationship for my children.
Having not had a ‘grandma’ myself, I have always thought of them a little different to a Nanna. A bit older, maybe. Always putting on the kettle for tea, whipping up biscuits and teaching children how to cook. Not quite as ‘fun’ as Nanna, but loving and quiet and full of great stories. Just like this lovely lady.
Before this moment, I had been gently encouraging that we get in contact with grandma. After this I made my case a little louder. I may not always see eye to eye with her, but she is their grandmother and I am trying to be more accepting, forgiving and loving to ALL people.
Then, in the midst of me stepping up my requests, she surfaced. And, now, I am finding it hard to be that forgiving or to continue to encourage that there be more time spent with her. When you belittle my husband, don’t bother to ask about the grandchildren you’ve not seen in over a year and make it obvious that you hate me and blame me for your not having seen us, it makes it difficult for me to continue to champion for you. Funnily enough.
So, I am in a quandary. I want to remove negativity from our lives as much as possible and, she is a great source of it BUT I still think she, as their grandmother should have a relationship with my children. I am working hard to not be overcome with hardness in relation to her and how she is with us. I am trying to be forgiving and loving.
It is hard. I am not a naturally forgiving person.
Especially when things involve hurting my family.
But she is family too.
Linking up with Jess in her new digs for iBOT