On Failing as a Parent
James and I have dubbed ourselves Awkward 1 and Awkward 2 after a recent discussion about our complete lack of social skills. That day, I had taken my children on their first ever play date. Yes. First ever. And, a few days before that? We had held our first ever impromptu play date.
Other than my nephew, I haven’t really known mothers in my area. I haven’t really done a good job of making friends. I did the chat thing with some mums when Ellie did music and Kahlei dance but, mostly, our social circle was my family who would come for dinners and cards and parties.
Now, we’ve dipped our toe in the play date water and, boy, do my girls like it. And my boy tells “she cool, mum” about the younger sister. But, I am in a terrified, bunny in the headlights situation. I have no idea what comes next. When Ellie is next invited over is it just Ellie? Do I just take her and drop her? Do we all go, as we did the first time and as they did when they came here? Am I in the way when I’m there?
It’s a whole new world for me and I want Ellie to nurture this friendship, especially after finding out yesterday she has not been invited to the first party of the year. Unfortunately, it’s being held by a girl who has seemingly told Ellie she dislikes her from the very first day and her being left out is causing her to be teased.
And, right now, as my heart breaks for her I feel it’s my fault.
I need to pull up my socks, put on my big girl pants and really show Ellie how to make friends and interact with people. Not that I’ve never tried. I’m just awkward. If you’ve ever met me at a blogger do, you’ll know this. I might be desperate to talk to you, to keep talking to you, to be your friend but I just don’t. know. how. But, I need to figure it out and quickly.
Here, I can say to you guys who I’ve seemed distant to that I do want to be friends, just give me a chance. In real life? Not so easy. How do I say to the mother of these girls that I want this to work, I want us to be friends and I want our kids to keep being keen to see each other but I am probably going to come across as disinterested, maybe even rude. I am going to say boring things. And maybe talk about what I’ve read in blogs as apposed to what I’ve said or done when with someone else. Because I don’t know anyone else.
I am hard to get to know. But maybe I’m worth the effort? I know my kids are, they’re worth every effort and I can’t believe how badly I’ve done by them when all I’ve ever wanted was to do the best for them.
Though there’s a reason for my inability to make friends or be ‘normal’ when faced with social interactions I still need to find a way to fight that and make friends despite my awkwardness. I have actually come a long way but I didn’t do it soon enough.
And now things are getting real.
What’s your hot tip for winning over the kindy mums?
What are the general play date rules I should know?
While you’re at it, can you fix my awkwardness?
Linking up with Essentially Jess for ibot