Doing and trying and being
Yesterday, Ellie and I somehow ended up talking about University and, as I explained to her what it was exactly, she started shaking her head.
“I don’t want to go to university.” She stated. I explained that people don’t have to further their education, that going to university is a choice but that it’s a good choice and that some careers require that further education.
“Don’t you want to be a zoo keeper?” I asked, given that both girls have passionately spoken about helping animals and working at a zoo to care for certain animals.
“No. Too hard. I just want to be a mum.”
The conversation had to be left there due to one rambunctious blonde haired boy, but I’ve visited it in my mind often since.
How do I, gently, tell her that being a mum is the hardest – and best – thing I’ve ever done? That parenting is not ‘easy’, as she seems to deem it.
How do I help her understand that having dreams is good but it’s the working towards them, no matter how hard the road may be, that makes them worthwhile.
I know she’s only young and her thoughts on future plans can change dramatically time and again. What I worry about is this defeated attitude already. I had hoped we were raising children who could push themselves and come out a winner because they went beyond what they believed they could but already I see Ellie giving in if things push her. When they first started home readers she wouldn’t try. Suddenly, her interest in reading and writing completely disappeared. It was frustrating and disappointing.
She’s got it now, but there’s still that block. If its hard, shrug and walk away.
I don’t know where I’m going wrong here or how to help her to understand without being that crazy, pushy parent. I want her to have her own desire to try harder.
I can’t simply leave when things are difficult, even when I’m at the end of my rope (which I’m rapidly reaching) and James is a hard worker, so I do not believe we are modeling this to her. I also don’t believe I’ve made her expect that she can simply do, as I’ve always been diligent in encouraging them to keep trying when there was something which required some mastering.
I don’t know. Any thought or suggestions for me? I’m hoping its a stage that she will soon leave behind as she starts to recognize the worth in doing her best.
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