First the worst, Second the best, Third the … ?

Third the Golden Princess

Golden Princess?

I have a serious question for you guys today. With Ellie and Kahlei in school, we often hear things which were once part of our school life days but have been long (I mean, loooong) forgotten. Most recently, that little saying ‘Zero the hero, first the worst, second the best’ has cropped up and has had James, Ellie and I debating what exactly third is.

Ellie says ‘Third the golden princess’. James says it’s the one with the hairy chest and I thought it was the fairy princess. Of course we did a search and, I have to say, Google did little more than muddy the water. Although, we have been enlightened that the rhyme goes all the way up to ten with many different (and often VERY interesting) variations being cited. There were also mixtures of what we though, for example, Third the one with the golden chest or Third the hairy princess.

Some other suggestions we discovered;

  • Third the turd
  • Third the dirty donkey
  • Third is the nerd in the polka dot dress
  • Third the dirty dog mess
  • Third the nerd in a barbie dress

You get my drift. I could go on and on as many people seem to have lots of different ideas.

So, help us settle our debate, WHAT is third? I’m sticking with my variation, even though I technically didn’t see a single other mention of it anywhere. And, did you know it went all the way to ten? Tell us your versions.

Linking up with Jess for #ibot



  1. Haven’t heard it all the way to 10 before! Would love to know the answer when you find out too πŸ™‚

    Ai a Sakura Haruka

    • I hadn’t either, had no idea it went past third! Still no answer really – given that nobody agrees with me πŸ˜‰ Although, the general consensus seems to be ‘the one with eh hairy chest’

  2. I heard hairy chest growing up. Also occasionally golden dress.

    How about: first is the worst, second is the best, third leaves everyone unimpressed?

    • Haha, I like that one, Emily. I might try to get that used instead!

  3. We always sang it as the hairy chest.

    • Thanks! Seems to be most people sang it this way!

  4. I love Em’s one – leaves everyone unimpressed, but I have to admit the ‘turd’ was the first thing that came to my grubby mind πŸ™ xx

    • I’d not heard the turd version before googling, which surprises me really, given that I have three brothers and most of my friends were boys – it seems more ‘appropriate’ given the situation!

  5. Wow, I must be right out of the loop – I have never even heard of the rhyme before! I am struggling with my own childhood rhyme memory. All I can remember is the line ‘…warming her pretty little toes…’ Do you know the rhyme at all? (It was about a girl sitting by a fireplace.) It would be good to know the whole thing! Maybe you can ask your kids and they’ll stop arguing over the ‘third’ for a time!

    • I’ve not heard that one, Jody. Although, just reading it might not be enough to kick my memory into gear.

  6. Would love to help you out, but I’ve never even heard of it.

    • I’ve had a couple of people say they’ve not heard it. I don’t know what shocks me more; people who haven’t heard of it or that so many people have… I guess I kind of thought it was just happening in my school/town, haha!

  7. My vote is for hairy chest, that’s what we always sang at school.

    • I think the hairy chesters win. Don’t tell my husband, though, he’ll get a big head at being right.

  8. I’ve never heard this rhyme ever! Not when I was a kid, and 2 have already made their way through primary (almost).
    We prefer the Ricky Bobby version, ‘If you’re not first, you’re last’ which is only funny because in this house, no one is ever first (and often actually last if it’s sporting prowess). (Again, I repeat my disclaimer that I’m not the blogger for parenting advice)

    • I’ve not heard that version. I’ve never been first and mostly last, myself – although, I do see hints of sporting prowess in my eldest daughter, so I might become more accustomed to the correct version!

  9. I don’t know ANY of these! But I do like the Third and Turd rhyme. Very astute. #teamIBOT

  10. As soon as I saw the title on the FYBF link up, I immediately said “third, the golden princess”. Haven’t heard that in years!

  11. Third the one with the hairy chest!
    It always sucked to be third πŸ™‚

  12. I don’t think I have ever heard this before. I have no idea, had to chuckle at ‘Third the turd’. I guess everyone had their own versions.

  13. Never heard of any of these sayings either… so if third is a girl, she is a princess… but a boy would have a hair chest? LOL.

  14. ha, I had no idea there were so many variations!! My Master 7 has started singing “I know a song thats very irritating, very irritating…….. wait till you get that one!!

  15. I haven’t heard any of these.. but it seems fun to just make up your own!

  16. We always say “third the one the hair chest” what is the forth?

  17. Hairy chest or treasure chest is what i used to say

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