This summer I stepped out of my comfort zone and didn’t die

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During the last term of 2014, Jasper started swimming lessons. I would sit on the side of the pool, just like all the other parents, watching my little man struggle to keep up with his class members feeling terrible for him and feeling terrible within myself as I struggled through the firstย  trimester of pregnancy.

Week after week he would do his best, yet seemed to be getting nowhere. Every week he would want to play after his class but I wasn’t comfortable letting him play in the water.

So, one week I wore my swimmers under my clothes. I thought I might pop in the pool with him, maybe. Mainly, I thought I wouldn’t and that it would not really be a big deal but at least I would be prepared if I was going to be crazy.

Class ended and he asked if he could stay in, as he always did but this time, instead of telling him a hot shower would be good, I took a deep breath and removed my dress and got in the pool. It was cold, there were people everywhere (not to mention parents I know from school!), I was practically naked and completely anxious. But, my boy? He was delighted. He laughed in pure joy and told anyone who would listen that mummy was getting in, too.

The last time I wore swimmers I was probably a child. Even as a teen I would swim in a big baggy top and long bike shorts, if I swam at all. Mostly, I would let my fear of how my body looked and the thought of other people seeing it stop me.

I waded my white, pregnant body into the water and I didn’t die. Nobody watching yelled terrible things at me or even vomited at the sight of my body.

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YOU just saw me in swimmers and didn’t die

What did happen, though, was a transformation.

Jasper went from struggling swimmer to thriving fish – he’s actually quite the natural and I went from worrying what every other person poolside though of my swimmer clad body and me as a person to only caring that I was bringing such happiness to my child by doing something he loved.

Since first gingerly sticking my toes in the water I have spent more than three weeks solid in the pool with my children and it’s been good. Exhausting but good.

We have played and swum and learnt together. All three are worlds away in their abilities than they were when I started and their teacher has told me it is definitely because I get in with them.

There’s a part of me that is so sad that I spent so very long on the sidelines, depriving my children joy , fun and the chance to flourish all because of how I felt about my body and because I was worried I would embarrass my family.

Turns out, they don’t care how I look in swimmers – it doesn’t even cross their mind. They care that I am in there, with them having fun. Go figure.

Tell me about a time you stepped out of your comfort zone and didn’t die?

Linking up with Jess for #ibot

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14 Comments

  1. So proud and happy for you and the kiddies. We’re always in our pool and the kids LOVE when I get in and go crazy with them! Recently stepped out of comfort zone to attend a function where I knew 2 people were not talking to me, former friends. ECK. I rose above it and was fine x

  2. This is something that I have struggled with too. Still struggle with if I’m honest. But I’m slowly earning that the only person who cares about what I look like in my cossies is me! And for my girls, they don’t care about anything other than Mum having fun with them.

  3. Good for you!!! What an amazing feeling to face that fear and see the sheer joy on your little one’s face. How unbelievable that he is now a little water baby. It can be hard to face those fears, but as they say it’s out of your comfort zone that magic happens ๐Ÿ™‚ #teamIBOT

  4. Well done! What a big step to take and I am so glad you did. Both you and your kids will be all the happier for it.

  5. Oh that’s beautiful Becky. I hate seeing myself in swimmers also, and get quite paranoid about it, but the kids love it when I get in with them. Especially my eldest. She calls me a fun mum, and I like being that. ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. Same theory as how we tend to think the kids need more toys, but all they want is more time and attention with us, ya? ๐Ÿ™‚ Good on you for getting out of your comfort zone and enjoying pool time with your kiddo. I think pregnant mums are so beautiful, keep positive and keep swimming!

    Ai @ Sakura Haruka

  7. I by no means have a good future actually my legs are quite frightening. But every week when my son goes swimming so do I. I enjoy the refreshing exercise in the afternoon and he loves having a play with me after the lesson.

  8. What a beautiful story! I’m sure you’re making many happy memories for your children ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. Great story – congratulations. So glad you’re bravery has let to so much joy for you and the kids.

  10. Fabulous post – your children won’t look back and remember what you were wearing but they will remember the fun times you had together! Great news that your son has also taken to the water – I always find that my kids can be flailing around not looking like they are getting anywhere with their swimming lessons, then suddenly the next week everything seems to click and they are powering through the water.

  11. LOVED reading this post. Good on you, I bet you feel so good for it and your kids think your a fab Mum! Well done and enjoy the smiles and the happiness you are bringing x A

  12. YAY! Good one you.

    Stepping out of my comfort zone ? Launching my new blog! Only 9 days ago – but I’m feeling so happy with how it’s going.

    Come and say hello!

    Amber. x

  13. Lovely post – something soooo many people can relate to! And so true of many situations in life…I know sometimes I let what other people will think get the better of me, when really you should just get on with it!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  14. Love this for so many reasons. I can totally relate. Your kids will remember you as the mum that jumped in with them to have fun. We sit on the sidelines out of fear and yet, I’d much rather face my fear, than regret not making memories with my girls. xx

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  1. It’s time for swimmers | Becky and James - […] I’d had a summer’s worth of practice. Even so, I had to get past that mental block again. While…

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