Him, Me and the Sea
Last Thursday, Felix fell asleep in the car on the way home from town, as babies tend to do and because we had nowhere to be and didn’t have a 4-and-a-half year old to get bored with us, so I decided I’d park somewhere and let him sleep.
Waking a sleeping baby is something I hate to do, yet I do at least once most days because, life. So, this day I took the opportunity to let my little man sleep. It was a beautiful day. Warm and sunny, with the waves lapping at the rocks, birds soaring through the sky.
Felix slept and slept and slept. I didn’t have a book and spent the time creating a Steller story aptly named ‘Out my window while baby sleeps’. Listening to Felix’s little-man-snores, I thought about how lonely I have been feeling. Somehow, this time around I have found life with a baby to be more isolating than I did when I was stuck home suffering from postnatal depression, knowing nobody and going nowhere.
I’m finding it frustrating and ridiculous that I feel surrounded by people yet still feel like I’m talking to myself most of the time.
During my woe-is-me session, I looked out the window to see whales frolicking out towards the horizon. One, in particular, caught my eye as it leapt from the water.
And just as it caught my attention Felix woke up. With an hour until school pick up, we got out and watched the whale for a moment and as we sat he disappeared but we stayed, soaking up the sun and playing in the grass.
It was a perfect afternoon, leaving me feeling warm, happy and recharged.
It was the perfect reminder that this parenting gig (and life in general) is a mixture of the good and the bad. Moments of sadness can be changed by moments of happiness. Moments of happiness can be tinged with sadness. As our children grow we celebrate their milestones while mourning that they are not our little babies anymore.
He wants to grow up so fast and I can’t believe that this big boy was my tiny little baby just four short months ago.
Sometimes, you need a little sea air and sun to remember the loneliness won’t last forever and babies don’t stay little for long. I’ll take those lonely hours while he sleeps so that we can then share our special moments before we need to be rushing about again.
I’m looking forward to this Thursday, when we can do it all again. When it can be just him, me and the sea.
When did you last sit and just enjoy the view and company?
Linking up with Essentially Jess for #ibot