I have nothing to offer you

moruya sunset, far south coast nsw, eurobodalla, medication, medicated, postnatal depression, pnd, no shame, fight the stigma, anxiety

I won’t lie, I felt quite relieved with the recent spate of ‘useless blogger’ posts (which were ignited by this post by Veggie Mama). The pressure to be useful has been a real weight for me as I’ve struggled with life stuff of late. I’ve briefly touched on some of those things in the last few posts. 

In fact, I’ve just done a quick scroll and seen that every post this year (except for my Mexiball recipe post) has been about how I’m struggling or the horrible things that have been going on. There hasn’t been many, but what there has been hasn’t offered anything to anyone and I’ve been avoiding writing for fear of taking up more space and time with a whole lot of nothing.

Because, the truth is, I have nothing to offer you.

medication, medicated, postnatal depression, pnd, no shame, fight the stigma, anxiety

Nothing. At all. 

I have just started back on anti-depressants to fight my anxiety and depression and am happy when I’ve simply made it through another day. I’m doing the bare essentials and it is exhausting enough. There is nothing left in the tank for creating interesting and engaging content.

Yet, knowing this, I have recently decided to try and be here more often. To post more. Even if it is about my struggles. Because, while I have nothing to offer you, this space and your visits have a lot to offer me.

onempty

Hope. Compassion. A place to be myself. Understanding. A place to feel less alone.

So, I’m going to be selfish and hope you keep coming back to this place where I offer you nothing to uplift me and then, maybe one day I will have something to give back.

Linking up with Jess for #ibot

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18 Comments

  1. You don’t owe anyone anything. If blogging helps you, then do it xxxx

  2. Big love to you. Sharing what you are going through will surely help someone. I remember deciding to return to meds and the decision is a hard one. I know many who also fought it, hoping they would get better. People need to hear your journey so share what you want and trust it is a giving as much as a getting. This IS your place to be yourself. Here reading and always ready with compassion and support xxx

  3. Your honesty is what you offer, and what is needed by so many in similar positions to yourself. Thank you for sharing xx

  4. Take care Becky. Spend whatever time you need to rest or do what helps you. If it means blogging randomly. Then do it. We will still comets read. Xx

  5. It’s important you are here. Even if it’s just for you. You don’t owe the world anything, but you owe everything to yourself. And you know what? Your words have so much to offer, so much more than you know.

  6. Sometimes writing about how you feel is helpful as others might identify and not feel as alone. I occasionally still write about weight stuff in my blog and am always surprised at how many people comment saying they can relate!

  7. I’ve felt exactly the same way. I really struggle with “providing something of value” to my readers, because that’s not why I started my blog in the first place. On the occasions that I do manage to blog something of “value” it’s because it’s something that I genuinely like writing about and that has a personal relationship to me (taking better photos, activities for toddlers that aren’t messy). Most of the time though it’s an exercise in vanity, and I write it for myself more than anyone else, and it’s nice to know I’m not alone.
    #teamIBOT

  8. I completely understand that feeling. Despite being a mental health blogger I told myself that my struggles didn’t matter and hated that I was just complaining on my blog. I wish I’d blogged though, because like you it helped when I did.

  9. Sorry to hear you’re going through a rough time. I think blogging can be just as, if not more, useful for the blogger than the reader- writing can be carthardic and the support received from sharing your struggles can be uplifting.

  10. I always find healing through words. It doesn’t matter if anyone reads them even. Just the act of writing can somehow make things seem better.

  11. Hugs. Those little tablets have helped me live a happy life for over 15 years now … I’d hate to think where I’d be without them.

  12. I’m sorry times have been tough Becky. I’m glad you’re getting some help though.
    And we have everything to offer just by being who we are. That’s enough.

  13. Becky, even when you’re struggling you are an amazing mother and a wonderful daughter. I’m sorry I’ve been so low that I haven’t been able to help you. I love you so very much xx

  14. Oh gorgeous girl, if you need inspiration from a blogger who doesn’t do sweet F A then I’m yah girl. You have had SOOO much going on over the past few years, I can’t even…. Be kind to you girl, so happy you’ve got a plan of attack and maybe write if you feel it helps or don’t if it doesn’t. We are here. xxx

  15. Hugs to you Becky. I just went back to my GP today to continue on my anti-depressants as the first anniversary of my dad’s death is coming up and I’m starting to struggle. I’m not looking forward to it but I have to keep on going. Do what you need to do and don;t worry about anything else x

  16. Sharing is caring. I hope you start to feel more like yourself soon

  17. It’s not selfish. If people don’t want to read, they won’t. And the rest of us will. x

  18. I’ve wondered whether I should get off my medication but then something happens and I realise that for now, staying on them is the better option. thinking of you, Becky x

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