My baby went off to daycare for the first time yesterday. He was excited and only a little nervous and happily waved James and I off as we dropped him in the morning.
I definitely think it was mumma who was most nervous as the door closed between us. I knew he would be alright, he has a love of people and a way of being around them that is beautiful. But, there’s always that worry in the back of your mind. Will he accidentally bite a child because he’s pretending to be a zombie and forgets not to close his teeth? (Or is it NOT an accident when that happens to Jasper…?) Will he be able to share with children who are smaller than him and not forcing him to do so like his siblings? Will he miss me? What if he doesn’t?
The day was quiet and I kept finding myself worried he was up to mischief or napping too long before realising the house was quite because he was not here.
When we went to pick him up he said to me “You not here, mum!” He wasn’t ready to go and wanted to pretend I wasn’t there so he could keep playing. All reports from the day were positive and, when he took my hand and told me he missed me I felt better.
Deep down, I knew he was ready and so keen to be making friends and doing things without me but it was squashed down under tonnes of anxiety and overwhelm.
This morning, for his second day, he was extra excited as his BFF was going to be there, too. He took extra time to make sure he was looking spiffy, put deodorant under his arms AND under his feet and combed his hair for what seemed like hours. Honestly, it was so funny – I hope she thinks he’s looking good today after all the effort!
For now, I am looking after my mental health on these days. Day care was doctor ordered and I do need to get it all sorted. I’m toying with some type of job or course one day a week maybe and concentrating on blogging, writing that novel I always think about.
What has changed in your life recently?