“Since you were young?” She asked.
I thought for a minute and answered, “Always.” She looked at me in surprise before her brow furrowed in worry as she repeated my statement.
Her reaction came back to me later that night, it seemed strange to me. Wasn’t every woman my age the same? Hasn’t my generation always questioned themselves, been too hard on themselves, allowed self-talk which we would never even consider speaking to another – not even our worst enemy? Was it really a surprise that I have always been inclined to judge myself more harshly than I would another?
Yes, I am and have been aware of this for many years and have tried to ‘ be kind’ and aware of my thoughts. I can’t say I’ve ever been great at that, though.
I don’t say these negative thoughts out loud. But, I also haven’t been actively fighting them of late. With my most recent diagnosis, my severe depression, anxiety, agoraphobia (haven’t blogged about that one, yet) I feel like I am on a round-a-bout of negative thoughts. I feel pathetic. I feel useless. And just overwhelmed.
But, my psychologist has said I need to go gently, forgive where I’m falling short (ugh) and show myself compassion.
So, I wanted to remind you guys of the same, today. Go gently. Show compassion to yourself.
Linking up for #LifeThisWeek.